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corvidualityThe management- both of them- started arguing, so, naturally, I noped the fuck out of there and will be hunkering down in the Student Center 'til midnight.
I feel bad when I think things like this- well, k, not "bad", just worried I'm being ungrateful- but it's little moments like this that remind me that, after I get my degree and my affairs in order, I need to leave. ASAP.
The reason it makes me feel bad is because, when it comes to parents, I have to admit I lucked out- to not do so would make me no better than a brat. My parents are supportive. Accepting. They've raised me to be an educated and curious person, would let memooch off of live with them the rest of my life if I wanted, they pay my tuition, pay for my food, my gas money, my medication and therapy, sometimes they keep an eye out for job opportunities, check in on my health and well-being, and I would have to threaten them with a knife before they would ever even consider throwing me out on the street.
I'm pretty damn blessed.
And yet.
They have...moments.
Tonight they were arguing about something I didn't hear well enough to understand, but it was something about the Lower Management not doing something the Upper Management asked them to, and it was all, "why didn't you do the thing I asked you", followed by, "don't talk to me that way", then, "why do you not know how to [idk something about computers] clearly you are being willfully stupid to disrespect me", and then "I've decided the conversation is over, stop talking", and then-
Okay, those are far from their exact words. But it's hard to describe what's so stressful about them being upset if you've never heard it.
It's just that she...dipped into that way-too-loud, "why are you doing this to me :(((" voice. And he used that fucking condescending tone, and just told her in a deadpan voice to, "stop talking", downright sneering while she got hysterical, and my stomach was turning and I had goosebumps as I left the house.
It's all too possible that I'm being melodramatic.
They're good people. They really are.
...Just don't get them angry or stressed, or they won't hesitate to turn into fucking headcases.
The thing is that I don't know how normal it all is. I don't know if this what an argument between a healthy couple looks like, and I'm just being hyper-sensitive.
I can't imagine them divorcing- I don't exactly pay attention to my parents relationship, but they really don't argue all that often- in fact, they normally get along great. Talk about things with each other, go to shows and dinners together, etc.
So, this could easily be one of those things I have to little experience and knowledge to really understand.
...But then I look at my sister and I, and how both of us, whenever something stressful is happening, try to keep as calm and level-headed as possible, and not let the situation escalate into screaming and crying and throwing a tantrum...
...Aaaaaaand I wonder if we just wordlessly decided that those two sometimes act like children, and we really didn't want to emulate that.
When I didn't do well in school. When we go on vacation and things get stressful. When my sister and I were yelling to much. Sometimes it was literally only because I didn't understand something. All things that warrant at least at little frustration and yelling. But the things they say in those moments...it's more than just expressing that you're angry and that a person did something stupid.
...GET ME OUT. ;_;
They both like to throw fits- guess they're perfect for each other that way. -_-;
Don't think I have quite the same love language though.
I feel bad when I think things like this- well, k, not "bad", just worried I'm being ungrateful- but it's little moments like this that remind me that, after I get my degree and my affairs in order, I need to leave. ASAP.
The reason it makes me feel bad is because, when it comes to parents, I have to admit I lucked out- to not do so would make me no better than a brat. My parents are supportive. Accepting. They've raised me to be an educated and curious person, would let me
I'm pretty damn blessed.
And yet.
They have...moments.
Tonight they were arguing about something I didn't hear well enough to understand, but it was something about the Lower Management not doing something the Upper Management asked them to, and it was all, "why didn't you do the thing I asked you", followed by, "don't talk to me that way", then, "why do you not know how to [idk something about computers] clearly you are being willfully stupid to disrespect me", and then "I've decided the conversation is over, stop talking", and then-
Okay, those are far from their exact words. But it's hard to describe what's so stressful about them being upset if you've never heard it.
It's just that she...dipped into that way-too-loud, "why are you doing this to me :(((" voice. And he used that fucking condescending tone, and just told her in a deadpan voice to, "stop talking", downright sneering while she got hysterical, and my stomach was turning and I had goosebumps as I left the house.
It's all too possible that I'm being melodramatic.
They're good people. They really are.
...Just don't get them angry or stressed, or they won't hesitate to turn into fucking headcases.
The thing is that I don't know how normal it all is. I don't know if this what an argument between a healthy couple looks like, and I'm just being hyper-sensitive.
I can't imagine them divorcing- I don't exactly pay attention to my parents relationship, but they really don't argue all that often- in fact, they normally get along great. Talk about things with each other, go to shows and dinners together, etc.
So, this could easily be one of those things I have to little experience and knowledge to really understand.
...But then I look at my sister and I, and how both of us, whenever something stressful is happening, try to keep as calm and level-headed as possible, and not let the situation escalate into screaming and crying and throwing a tantrum...
...Aaaaaaand I wonder if we just wordlessly decided that those two sometimes act like children, and we really didn't want to emulate that.
When I didn't do well in school. When we go on vacation and things get stressful. When my sister and I were yelling to much. Sometimes it was literally only because I didn't understand something. All things that warrant at least at little frustration and yelling. But the things they say in those moments...it's more than just expressing that you're angry and that a person did something stupid.
...GET ME OUT. ;_;
They both like to throw fits- guess they're perfect for each other that way. -_-;
Don't think I have quite the same love language though.
