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Oct. 14th, 2019 08:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
corvidualityRecently it's been easy for me to have flashbacks to...altercations I've had in the past with the management.
I think about them for too long, and I suddenly have a flashback to a one-sided screaming match, sometimes one I actually thought I'd forgotten about. My stir-crazy mood might be more serious than I thought.
Truthfully, I think I may just be getting sick of living in a situation where I have to force myself to...I don't know. Interact with people I'd already got bored with a very, very long time ago. It's not fair to them at all, but, them's the works; the instant I start talking to them, I want the conversation to be over. It's a chore.
It's getting harder and harder to force myself to respond in kind whenever they try to get affectionate. Especially Upper Management.
Yeesh, did that used to give me some confusion for a while; I think a near-lifetime of watching someone go from angry to... a cloyingly sweet, huggy-wuggy facade is what's given me such a strong distaste for any affection that includes baby-talk and face-mushing. Maybe.
*sigh*
I dunno, man.
Maybe having a more active friendgroup could alleviate these feelings. I think that would make it easier to not feel so drained by just interacting with them; stop putting so much weight on the interactions I have with only two people, who I would normally never hang out with and am forced to live with.
...
I think about them for too long, and I suddenly have a flashback to a one-sided screaming match, sometimes one I actually thought I'd forgotten about. My stir-crazy mood might be more serious than I thought.
Truthfully, I think I may just be getting sick of living in a situation where I have to force myself to...I don't know. Interact with people I'd already got bored with a very, very long time ago. It's not fair to them at all, but, them's the works; the instant I start talking to them, I want the conversation to be over. It's a chore.
It's getting harder and harder to force myself to respond in kind whenever they try to get affectionate. Especially Upper Management.
Yeesh, did that used to give me some confusion for a while; I think a near-lifetime of watching someone go from angry to... a cloyingly sweet, huggy-wuggy facade is what's given me such a strong distaste for any affection that includes baby-talk and face-mushing. Maybe.
*sigh*
I dunno, man.
Maybe having a more active friendgroup could alleviate these feelings. I think that would make it easier to not feel so drained by just interacting with them; stop putting so much weight on the interactions I have with only two people, who I would normally never hang out with and am forced to live with.
...
